There are two kinds of birth people...

I generally hate any kind of "there are two kinds of people" discussion. It's polarizing, and it often leaves a lot of people out. But I have to say, when it comes to birth junkies in general, the polarization is already there. In general, women who are very interested in birth and especially natural birth options fall into one of two categories: very liberal, hippie, crunchy, granola types, and extremely conservative Christian types. I fall into the former, but it's a pretty even split between the two groups.

In some ways, this makes sense: extremes often meet up in some areas. Both the hippies and the Christians believe that birth is an event that needs more attention, and that giving birth is an event to be celebrated or even worshipped. The hippies believe it because of a fundamentally pro-women and pro-choice bent, the Christians do because of a fundamentally pro-creation one. This means that in most birth-related things, the two groups converge. When it comes to helping a woman have a safe and happy home birth, or making sure her doctor doesn't get too pushy, or mothering a new mother, it's very easy to be in the same position. But there's one issue where the two groups diverge radically.

That issue is abortion.

My housemate J and I often wish that we lived closer to an abortion clinic. Neither of us has personally had an abortion. However, we have respect for women's bodies and women's choices, and believe that in the absence of coercion women generally make the right choices for their lives and themselves. We would like to help at clinics, by being clinic escorts or even abortion doulas. I'll talk more about the practice of being a birth doula later (which is something I'm intending to start doing this year, exciting!) but essentially it means being a non-medical support person and advocate. Just as in birth, women who are aborting need someone to stand by them and be their representative and advocate during a difficult time. They may need someone to stay with them during the recovery phase, or need someone to run interference with clinic protesters. This is the sort of thing we could and would do if we lived near a clinic, but we don't. Small towns don't generally have an abortion clinic, and ours is no exception.

And on the other side, there are the Christians. They, too, believe very strongly in this issue. While I was at a meeting of doulas recently, several of the women who gravitated more toward the Christian, pro-creation side of this debate were talking rather excitedly about working at a crisis pregnancy center.

If you don't know what a crisis pregnancy center is, they're often listed as "abortion alternatives" in your Yellow Pages. They're also the places that put up those signs reading things like: "Pregnant? Scared? Need someone to talk to? Call us." Their stated purpose is to prevent abortions.

As a stated purpose, I don't think that's too bad. I certainly would like it if there were fewer abortions in this country, which is why I advocate comprehensive sex education and easy access to reliable contraception. No one (except perhaps a few very crazy internet people) wishes for more abortions. I believe many women are essentially forced into aborting because of financial circumstances, and that's a terrible, awful thing. That's why I support paid parental leave policies and more benefits for mothers. I want everyone to be able to make a choice about their childbearing independent of their personal finances (choices which also come into play in the hospital birth/home birth issue, which I'll talk about later). If crisis pregnancy centers worked with women to make sure their finances were adequate and help them with the costs and emotional issues of raising a child, I would support their mission.

But crisis pregnancy centers do not do that. Their goal is specifically preventing abortion at all costs. They lie to women, often telling them the old myth that abortion causes cancer or leads to infertility. They have uncertified ultrasound technicians doing ultrasounds and guilt tripping women who are already in a delicate emotional state. They tell women to come in for additional "counseling" appointments that are specifically to delay abortions -- which, because the cost and risk of abortion goes up every week of a pregnancy, is a good way to make abortion an untenable option for some women. Women are promised support in purchasing baby items, but this often amounts to a few onesies and a used piece of baby furniture. Some crisis pregnancy centers have even used women's personal information to track down their relatives and tell them about the unplanned pregnancy and the woman's intention of aborting, if they believe that the woman will go through with an abortion.

When your goal is preventing abortions at all costs, it makes sense to lie to women. The ends justify the means for the people working at crisis pregnancy centers. But I don't believe that we need to lie to vulnerable people, or force them to make the choice we want them to make. While I understand the point of view of the pro-creationists, I don't endorse it. I actively work against it.

If and when I do become pregnant, one of the things I intend to do is visit local crisis pregnancy centers. Since one of the first things they do is provide a pregnancy test, going in without a pregnancy wouldn't work. I intend to tell them that I am considering all my pregnancy options and even abortion (which, of course, I am not: I do not consider a minor bit of undercover lying to be morally equivalent to repeatedly lying to distraught women). I want to see if the local centers are as morally bankrupt as the ones I've heard about before. I am still open to being pleasantly surprised, but I doubt it'll happen. Of course, I'll need to avoid any centers being worked at by other doulas at the group (who know I'm trying to conceive), but I can't help but wonder: are these women, who other women are relying on as advocates and honest, helpful support during labor, lying to other pregnant women without shame or remorse?

I'd like to say I can't picture it. But I can, all too well. The divide between the two groups is so chilling on that subject. I could not trust a birth doula who also worked for a CPC. Mabe some people could. But I would never want to have anyone in charge of caring for my emotional or physical well-being who didn't respect my own bodily autonomy.

If you work in the birth world, or are otherwise a birth junkie, how do you view the split between these groups? Have you ever encountered it in a particularly nasty form? Have you ever figured out a way to heal that rift?